On The Way To A New Me

I don't know that anyone reads this anymore, but I need to write this for myself to document the next 3 months.

Today is the end of our first week of the Body For Life.  And, I actually did it! 

I want to go back to September.  I don't know if there was an event, per se, that made me want to make a change, but something in me snapped.  I was tired of looking in the mirror and seeing all the extra fat on my hips, thighs, and arms.  I'm tired of buying size 8 or higher pants...and then them still being tight.  I want to wear skinny jeans and look good.  I found my old leather skirt in my closet one day.  It's a size 4.  I thought we got rid of it because I didn't think there was anyway I could ever wear it again.  But maybe I can.

All these things made me want to make a change.  I had been going to the gym sporadically for the last year.  I took the summer off, but had been trying to get there again in September after the kids went back to school.  Still, I knew it wasn't enough.  I decided that now was the time to really do something about it. 

When Chris and I met, he was in the middle of doing the BFL.  I don't remember him being overweight at the beginning (all I can really remember is his huge chest :)  ), but I do remember the end result.  I was there with his as he got his "after" photos.  He was cut!  I know the program works.  I've worked the program before.  I've never done the whole thing, but I've done the workouts.  To be honest, I like the program because it's relatively easy.  Never more than and hour in the gym??  Sign me up! 

So, I made the decision to start October 1st.  I was hoping that I could dedicate myself in the gym and see some good results.  That first month I did pretty good in my eating, though I wasn't doing the BFL eating plan.  After that first month, though, it wasn't so great.  I went back to my old habits.  I did, however, continue at the gym.  I went 12 weeks, even through the holidays, missing only a handful of days.  Unfortunately, though, I didn't see the results that I was hoping for.  While I didn't lose much, I do know that I gained some muscle tone, and more than that, a good habit. 

As December, and the holidays, was coming to a close, Chris and I decided that with the New Year we would start the 12 weeks over again, this time doing the eating right, too.  The eating part is obviously not my strong point.  I don't necessarily eat horribly bad food.  My problem is more that I don't eat.  My normal schedule was to have some sort of granola bar before heading to the gym, maybe have a protein shake when I got home from the gym (if I remembered), skip lunch and then eat dinner.  There were a lot of times that I forgot to eat anything until dinner.  For me, this has been my pattern since I was young.  My body doesn't always get hungry.  I trained it not to do that a long time ago.  I was hoping that since my body is used to the lack of food, putting the exercise in to the routine would just melt those pounds off.  Twas not to be. 

January 7, 2013 was our starting day.  Sunday night I tried to put together a menu plan for the next two weeks.  I was searching all over the web trying to find BFL recipes that I could use.  I wasn't getting very far.  I was trying to make things to hard.  Finally it dawned on me that I didn't have to have all new recipes.  Most of what I make for dinner is very healthy.  I don't make things out of a box.  I just don't think they taste good.  I make things with fresh ingredients most of the time.  I just had to realize that we needed a protein, a carb, and some veggies.  A majority of our dinners already have that.  I just need to watch my portions and make sure I don't get carried away with what actually goes into my mouth.  So that took care of dinner.  The other two main meals were just as difficult, though, only because I just don't usually eat them.  I've had to wake up and make myself breakfast instead of just making the kids' lunches and getting them off to school.  Luckily, eggs are easy to make and it doesn't take too long.  For lunch, I've been a little more creative.  I've been eating a lot of cottage cheese even though I don't like it.  Right now, a little pain is worth the final goal.

Monday was a great start at the gym.  I had a great lower body workout (even though I was supposed to start with upper body, oops!).  I ate great.  Then came Tuesday.  I woke up feeling like I had a vice grip around my head and was definitely coming down with something.  I felt like crap.  I took something for the headache and ate something, though it was a little later than I had planned.  I felt better and before the morning was over, I made it to the gym to get my 20 minute aerobic workout in.  I was so happy I did it, despite feeling sick.  I came home and vegged for the rest of the day, but I didn't miss my workout and I kept up with my meals.  The next couple of days followed the same way.  I was sick, but I didn't let it stop this new beginning.

Today was our first free day and we made it count.  Fattening muffins for breakfast, pizza and drinks for lunch, and premium ice cream for dinner.  It's nice to know that one day we can indulge in those cravings, though I didn't really have any throughout the week.  I have to admit, though, I don't feel as good at the end of the day with all that less than healthy food in my body. 

So, tomorrow, it starts again.  I'm excited for the next 11 weeks and what's in store at the end.  I used to think that after having 5 kids, I'd never have my hips back to the way they once were.  But now, I think maybe I can.  Yes, maybe they've widened a little bit, but getting rid of the fat that's hanging on to them will make a huge difference.  I'm sure I won't ever be the same size I was when I was first married, but that's ok.  I am realistic about this.  I just want to shed the fat and not be embarrassed to wear a swim suit this summer.